Page 45 - SEN106 SEN Magazine May-June 2020

month or helped out when holiday cover was needed. But everything changed when the couple was approached to look after a little girl with autism and a learning disability for a few weeks. At first, they were concerned. “We anticipated it could be tough and we wouldn’t have a clue how to communicate with a mostly non-verbal child”, Lauren remembers. But their worries proved to be unfounded. “It was amazing to see how quickly we all connected with her. She brought so much joy and laughter to our house and immediately felt like part of the family.” The little girl has been living with Stuart, Lauren, their 15-year-old son and 12-year-old daughter for two years now and they have never looked back. Growing with challenges It’s in the nature of fostering that it’s not all a bed of roses. Fostering can be physically and emotionally demanding and the Lewis family are not pretending otherwise. “There are of course lots of challenges. You fit in many social work meetings, always deal with numerous professionals who share responsibility of the child in your care and you manage contact with birth parents and siblings. It can be tough when there are sleepless nights, or challenging behaviour”, says Stuart, “but it’s good to know there is a lot of support provided through the social workers and other care professionals.” Sleepless nights are also something very familiar to Chris Pope, who has fostered alongside his wife Shirley for more than ten years. Chris says: “We have long faced the challenge of regular disturbed nights. This was especially the case following some rather traumatic family history work. A five-year-old wakes at two in the morning and suddenly “needs” to understand why rain falls from clouds, flows into the rivers and out to the sea (“but where does it all go?”) I think it took about two hours to sort that, and even as a geographer I am not at my best at that time! “This pattern continued six years later. You never have all the answers as a carer. For instance, you can suddenly realise that you actually know nothing about popular electronic games! But there is also a serious side to this; sometimes they wake because they have had a nagging concern about other members of their birth family. They have said they really want to keep it boxed up – but the lid keeps opening. “You learn coping strategies for yourselves and them. Jumping in the car and going for a drive is one; I have spent several nights driving around rural by-roads in silence or chatting about absolutely nothing before the issue suddenly pops out. Thank goodness for 24-hour fast food! “That they have chosen to confide in you is a real step forward. They can be just as pleased as you are at your own special family events and the importance, especially for long-term fostering, of keeping everything as normal as possible within your family is really worth doing. Our own adult children keep closely in touch.” Adapting to surprises “All children are special. But fostering a child with additional needs adds an extra challenge here and there”, says Chris. The couple have been looking after twins with varying levels of ADHD, complex social, emotional and behavioural challenges and complex attachment issues for almost nine years. When That they have chosen to confide in you is a real step forward About the author Karina Auer is Media and Communications Officer at The Fostering Network. thefosteringnetwork.org.uk @fosteringnet thefosteringnetwork ■ She immediately felt like part of the family. 45 senmagazine.co.uk SEN 106 Fostering