Page 44 - SEN107 SEN Magazine July-August 2020

Kate Reynolds explains why parents of children with SEN are not teaching proper RSE – and why they should. Relationships and sex education: engaging parents R elationships and Sex Education (RSE) is one of the most important aspects of learning for pupils with Special Educational Needs (SEN), with potential to increase their community participation, reduce vulnerability to sexual abuse and enhance many aspects of their lives. From September, new legislation covering England makes relationships education in primary schools and relationships and sex education in secondary schools mandatory. Schools must develop and publish RSE policies and deliver a broad and inclusive curriculum. Key to implementation of policies is the active involvement of parents. Issues for parents Many parents of SEN pupils delay broaching the subject of RSE until their children behave sexually. This reactive approach has multiple causes: • Parents may struggle to acknowledge their children are maturing sexually, based on the concept of ‘mental age’ (being well below their chronological age) or delayed milestones. • The level of RSE delivered at home correlates with perceptions of individuals’ level of intellect; the lower the level, the greater the assumption of sexual naïvety and inability to absorb RSE messages. Even when autistic children are considered ‘high functioning’, parents teach more comprehensive RSE to neurotypical siblings. • Children with SEN are viewed as ‘vulnerable’ by parents, who prioritise protection above risks of friendships/ relationships or independent activities in the community. Lack of RSE contributes to sexual vulnerability due to lack of learned assertion and knowledge about what constitutes sexual activity. Mainstream SEN pupils’ desperation for friendships leaves them open to manipulation. • A common misconception is that introducing RSE will create sexual desire where it would not otherwise develop. With rare exceptions, evidence demonstrates that SEN pupils develop sexually in a similar way to neurotypical children. • Even if parents tackle some areas of RSE, those with strongly held faith or cultural beliefs, may deny the possibility that their child is homosexual and refuse to answer questions on homosexuality. • Parents of those with greater additional needs may consider RSE unfairly raises their children’s expectations when they cannot foresee their children having a partner or becoming parents. • Many parents feel incompetent and unsupported in teaching RSE. They describe having to fight for resources and information, particularly if their children have moderate to severe learning disabilities. • Some parents want to retain control over what are ‘acceptable’ sexual behaviours, especially for those with greater additional needs. E.g. they may accept hand- holding but actively discourage masturbation even in private bedrooms (McClelland et al 2012). Potential consequences Waiting for children with SEN to become sexually active before teaching RSE can result in unwanted sexual behaviours being established (McConkey & Ryan 2001). Although RSE can be introduced after such incidents, the individual risks having their access to the community restricted. Friendships give pupils opportunities to practise social skills for future intimate relationships, such as joint decision-making, Waiting for children with SEN to become sexually active before teaching RSE can result in unwanted sexual behaviours being established SEN 107 senmagazine.co.uk 44 Sex education