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resolving arguments and experiencing power issues. These insights are a crucial aspect of RSE which many children with SEN do not experience. Parents can confuse children by giving inconsistent messages due to embarrassment or lack of engagement in RSE (Evans et al 2009; McConkey & Ryan 2001). In addition, parents’ strongly held beliefs can cause them to give misinformation or prejudiced information, which can limit or distort their children’s understanding, notably around LGBT issues and pregnancy. Strategies to engage parents in RSE • Parents should receive RSE policies and there should be open dialogue with schools. Although there is no parental veto, parents should have opportunities to give feedback on policies. Record discussions of concerns raised by parents, in case the process is challenged in future. Evaluation is a crucial part of the implementation of RSE policies, built on initial assessment of parental concerns or needs. • Present RSE in a holistic way, from friendships to sociosexual needs and behaviours. Emphasise the positives in learning about RSE and try to avoid a focus on purely sexual behaviour. Teach RSE proactively, don’t wait for sexualised behaviours and ensure parents understand the possible consequences of reactive RSE. • Education, Health and Care Plans (EHCPs) should focus on RSE issues from friendships, other emotional and social needs and what has been covered in RSE lessons. Additionally, transition planning should include relationships, and sexuality, monitored as measurable outcomes. • Parents should receive feedback on what has been taught about RSE so that messages can be consistent between home and school. Schools should reflect the principles of RSE which parents can emulate at home, such as privacy in toilets, not permitting use of homophobic language, supporting personal space and appropriate touch. There should be an available staff member whom parents can approach for advice or to signpost them to another agency. • Engage parents at school events to provide feedback or give information e.g. parents’ evening by having presentations, stands with information or individual surgeries or drop-in sessions with key members of staff. Offer information evenings for new parents, with key staff and resources to be used in lessons. • Use existing parents’ groups or forums to disperse information and get feedback on RSE policy, but also develop new channels of communication, such as governor or PSHE co-ordinator surgeries. • Schools can create regular sessions linked to RSE policy, for example, workshops for parents giving them the opportunity to explore what will be taught and to handle RSE resources. At the beginning of the school year, parents can be invited to meet their child’s teacher, whether new or existing teacher, as an opportunity to discuss RSE. • In arranging training about RSE, ensure parents explore their feelings and attitudes surrounding RSE, which research shows is instrumental in gaining parental engagement. LGBT issues should be included. Have RSE resources available for loan to parents. • Schools can support friendships via selection of tutor group composition, giving pupils an opportunity to select one/two pupils to continue with in class post-16 and identifying developing friendships for parents of those with greater additional needs. • Meet with parents if a sexuality issue arises in school and supply visuals to support the child at home e.g. social narratives or scripts relating directly to inappropriate touch in the classroom. • Keep RSE and surrounding issues as low key as possible. Sexuality is one of the most sensitive subjects to discuss with parents, so keep the approach positive and suggest practical steps to tackle issues. RSE is particularly important for pupils with SEN. Delivered in an accessible format and supported by parents, RSE will create pathways for greater community involvement and more fulfilling lives for people with SEN. Used properly, RSE can be instrumental in limiting sexual abuse. References Evans, D.S. McGuire, B.E. Healy, E. & Carley, S.N. (2009) ‘Sexuality and personal relationships for people with an intellectual disability. Part II staff and family carer perspectives’ Journal of Intellectual Disability Research Vol 53 Part II p913-921 McClelland, A. Flicker, S. Nepveux, D. Nixon, S. Vo, T. Wilson, C. & Marshall, Z. (2012) ‘Seeking safer sexual spaces: queer and trans young people labelled with intellectual disabilities and the paradoxical risks of restriction’ Journal of Homosexuality 59 p808-819 McConkey, R. & Ryan, D. (2001) ‘Experiences of staff in dealing with client sexuality in services for teenagers and adults with intellectual disability’ Journal of Intellectual Disability Research Vol 45 (1) p83-87 About the author Kate Reynolds is an author, public speaker and consultant working in relationships and sexuality education for young people with special educational needs. She has two children on the autism spectrum. Schools must develop and publish RSE policies and deliver a broad and inclusive curriculum senmagazine.co.uk SEN 107 45 Sex education