Page 43 - SEN114 September/October 2021

About the authors
Jane Poore
Adoption Development Consultant
Jane joined CoramBAAF in 2021 as a qualified Social Worker with over 15 years’ experience.
Hetty Verhagen CoramBAAF Training and Consultancy Manager
Hetty is a therapeutic social worker with over 10 years of experience
of working in adoption and kinship care support services. Hetty has a particular interest in helping children and young people to overcome experiences of trauma.
Adoption
“Create a culture of shame resilience by normalising making mistakes”
Adoption Agencies (RAA), Voluntary Adoption Agencies or other organisations specialising in adoption support. Pupil Premium Plus is available for adopted children and can be used to fund training.
Adoptive families in England can also access funding via the Adoption Support Fund (ASF). Schools cannot apply for this funding directly but can advise parents to contact their RAA or local authority adoption service to request an assessment of their family’s adoption support needs, which may lead to an application to the ASF. Eligible therapeutic interventions include therapeutic parenting courses, creative art therapy, EMDR, play therapy and many other kinds of therapeutic interventions, but not educational support.
For some children who are moving to a new home, school can be a place of safety and routine at a time when everything else in their life has changed. In these cases, it would be appropriate to start at their new school soon after joining their adoptive family. In most cases however, it is important to wait until a child has begun to form attachments in their new family before asking them to handle the demands of a new school environment. A period out of school, with a phased start or reduced timetable may be appropriate for these children.
Early experiences of trauma and loss can have an impact on children’s emotional development. They may have missed out on developmental opportunities due to the disruptions in their early lives and may therefore present as emotionally younger than their chronological years, particularly at times of challenge and change. Rather than urging the child to show maturity, it is often more beneficial to consider strategies that may be associated with younger children.
Some children with complicated attachment histories may have an unconscious need to remind the adults around them that they exist. They know that they need adults to survive but cannot trust them to be there when they need them. They may ask lots of questions; try to stay close to trusted adults or may even seem to be disruptive, all in an unconscious attempt to hold the adult’s attention.
Other children may have learned very early on that they cannot expect much from others, and that they can only survive by meeting their own needs. They may seem quiet, reluctant to ask for help and at times may even seem invisible in the classroom. They may have outburst that seem to come from nowhere, because they are so skilled at hiding their emotions until they become impossible to contain.
Some children who have experienced early trauma might have a strong need to control their environment, because their brain tells them that danger is always just around the corner. Even a slight change to the normal routine can feel like evidence that the adults in school cannot be trusted. These early experiences can also contribute to a sense of high level of shame, sometimes known as “toxic shame”.
Adopted children may struggle to make sense of consequences due to lack of consistent routines in their early lives. They may see their own behaviour and the subsequent consequence as two separate events. This means that common behavioural strategies, such as the traffic light system, or loss of privileges, may not have the desired outcome, as these may instead be experienced as another rejection. To reduce overwhelming feelings of shame, it can be helpful to be very clear about expectations in school. Acknowledge when children are following rules correctly, not just when they are breaking a rule. Schools can create a culture of shame resilience by normalising making mistakes and modelling how to cope when things go wrong.
Adoptive parents attend preparation training prior to adoption and many parents and carers continue to access training and support after the child moves in. Parents and carers can therefore be a great source of information on meeting the needs of children living with the continued impact of early trauma, as well as living with the complexities of not growing up in a birth family. If the adults support each other to build effective relationships with the child, adopted children have the best chance of feeling safe and thriving in school.
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