Page 53 - SEN114 September/October 2021

Self-harm
Exploring the emotional
factors relating to self-harm
Beverley Samways argues for a broader perspective when addressing self harming behaviours for those with learning difficulties
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How we think about behaviour
I was with friends and feeling thoughtful as the waiter passed me a latte in a tall, slim glass precariously balanced on a saucer. I reached across the bar and took it with one hand, felt how unstable it was, but somehow couldn’t find the energy or coordination to re-balance it: instead I just let it go with a flick of my hand, splattering the latte wildly as the glass clattered across the tiled floor. I looked at the coffee river in the now silent café.
‘I just threw that’, I announced.
The waiter paused, before replying mildly, ‘did you want another coffee?’
As I sat, slightly bewildered, with my friends drinking my second coffee, they moved quickly from gently teasing me to asking me what had happened. Together, we worked out that my coffee- throwing had a connection to an overwhelming experience from several months ago. The experience had sapped my energy, knocked me off balance, and generally made a mess - a bit like the coffee. As we talked, I felt better, whilst remembering
“Thinking about my emotions in connection to my past and present experiences”
I still had some work to do on processing the experience.
Now imagine if my friends had tried to explain my behaviour only in relation to what had happened immediately before: Maybe I didn’t like the coffee? Maybe I didn’t like that café? Maybe the waiter had been mean to me?
Imagine if the only place to look for an explanation for my behaviour was right there in that moment, rather than thinking about my emotions in connection to my past and present experiences.
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