Page 47 - SEN115 - November/December 2021

Autism
About the author
Judy Gordon is a qualified special educational needs teacher, who
has recently completed a Master of Science in Psychology and has now become an independent special educational needs consultant.
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to lack playmates or attention, and all I really understood was that my autistic sister did not want to play with the rest of us in ways we considered normal. I only began to see autism in a broader context after I entered secondary school, where I recognised that my sister’s social skills and behaviour were very different to those of neurotypical children. As I grew older, I saw how her behaviour triggered frequent exclusions and numerous changes of school, until home schooling became her only option. I worried about her lack of friendships or opportunities to socialise with other children her age.
Responsibility
I was often (and to some degree still am) directly involved in my sister’s care. This could be challenging at times – especially when set against my adolescent desires to go out with friends regularly, get to school/college on time, etc. – but my sister and I always shared a special bond. Because she would often listen to me more than our other siblings, I was the go-to girl for certain conversations and for the trips out and about that were her only real contact with the wider world.
Today, as a permanently busy adult with responsibility for my son, I still do what I can to help my sister, asking her out on trips, either alone or with my friends, and finding short courses or interesting activities through the local authority’s ‘local offer’
“A valuable ability to bounce back from difficult situations”
service. My sense of responsibility for her has increased as I have matured, and my awareness of societal expectations and norms have grown. I worry about what the future holds for my sibling, and about my mother’s ability to care for her as they both get older. Contributing where I can, and worrying when I cannot, could be seen as burdens, but I refuse to accept them as such. They’re just a natural part of being a big sister.
Strength and resilience
Growing up with a sibling who has autism has, in many ways, been very good for me. The almost daily family readjustments needed to cope with adversity around my sister’s autism taught me to practice and appreciate resilience at an early age, gifting me a valuable ability to bounce back from difficult situations. Less obviously, my lack of understanding around autism required me, at a very early age and without conscious effort, to ‘bracket’ my personal experiences as a way of more objectively observing the behaviour of others. I am convinced that this process has played an important, positive role in my emotional development.
Empathy
Siblings of Special Educational Needs (SEN) children have been found to display enhanced understanding of individual differences, and above average levels of empathy. A study conducted by Shivers (2019) also found that those with autistic siblings often show a heightened grasp of
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