Page 46 - SEN106 SEN Magazine May-June 2020

the twins came to live with them, they weren’t aware of the boys’ additional needs, and neither were their social workers. “It was a bit of a detective story, a puzzle we had to solve”, remembers Chris. “We asked ourselves whether their behaviour was just the result of their difficult start or was there something else?” The couple worked hand in hand with the boys’ school to identify issues, and their GP was able to refer them for further testing. “A year later we had a clear evidence-based diagnosis”, explains Chris. “Both boys now receive appropriate support, medication and therapy – and this has made such a difference.” “Still, it can be complicated trying to untangle what behaviours and traits are due to disability and what is due to life experiences”, confirms Stuart. Small changes – big achievements Despite the challenges, both families couldn’t imagine a life without their fostered children. “It’s such an incredible privilege to have this amazing little girl in our family, filling our house with so much fun. We see her develop and are constantly amazed by each new step she takes. There is so much to celebrate”, says Lauren about looking after a child with additional needs. “Early on I remember how she would panic and melt down every time I put my coat on. I always had to do hers first, so she didn’t think I was leaving without her”, Lauren adds. “Within a few months, she’d gained confidence and no longer panicked over that. These are the incredible achievements we’re celebrating, sometimes on a daily basis, with her and she is constantly surprising us.” Better together Foster carers play a crucial role in society and are at the heart of the team around the child, and yet, they couldn’t do it all alone. Chris highlights: “Building up a network of support is a vital part of being effective as a foster carer. It is even more important when you are having to address specific additional needs.” The Popes work closely with their children’s school and teaching staff to secure the best possible outcome. But they also have a good relationship with their fostering service and social workers. Nonetheless, the couple know the struggle to find adequate help. “Support from an overstretched and under-resourced system is a challenge. We had to push at every stage for getting the right support in place. Sometimes you pushed at an open door; sometimes you had to be more persistent. You might not always get what you want but you never stop trying.” For Lauren and Stuart, having a community that is understanding of the issues foster carers are faced with, makes all the difference. “The fostering community is close-knit and supportive and definitely one of the keys to thriving in this job. With entering the disability community, we have entered a whole new world and have found it to be an incredibly friendly and supportive place.” Foster carers might be faced with different challenges, but they have one thing in common: the desire to transform children’s lives. “Fostering is a life enhancing experience as well as being a life-changing experience. If you have time, space and think you can offer opportunities and experiences to children and young people who may have had a rocky start, we can think of nothing more fulfilling”, says Chris. “It isn’t always easy, but it’s always worth it.” Building up a network of support is a vital part of being effective as a foster carer From 11 to 24 May, The Fostering Network is running Foster Care Fortnight – the charity’s annual campaign to raise the profile of fostering and celebrate the positive way in which foster care transforms lives. It is also the UK’s biggest foster carer recruitment campaign. This year’s theme, #ThisIsFostering, highlights that fostering has highs and lows, difficult conversations and proud moments, joyous celebrations and heart- wrenching sadness, big challenges and even bigger rewards. It shows what fostering can be, while also underlining the specialist skills and extraordinary traits common among foster carers and others involved in fostering. Throughout the two weeks, you can find out about what fostering entails and how it differs from adoption, how to become a foster carer and what to expect when a child comes to live with you. For more information, visit thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/FCF Foster Care Fortnight 11 to 24 May 2020 ■ Fostering is a life-enhancing experience. 46 SEN 106 senmagazine.co.uk Fostering