Every carer’s an SEN carer

Nadine Povey on the reality of fostering children with additional needs.

More children with Special Educational Needs are entering care and the demand for specialist foster homes is rising. Yet when we talk about SEN, we often imagine only the children with formal diagnoses such as Autism, ADHD, dyslexia, developmental delay, or physical and medical needs. These needs are real, and they absolutely require skill, training and patience.

But another group of children has needs which are just as significant. They are not always recognised on paper, and their school file may not carry a label. These are the children whose learning has been shaped by trauma, uncertainty and emotional upheaval. Together, these two groups form the real landscape of SEN fostering. When we understand both, we see a fuller picture of what carers do and why their role is so vital.

Two types of need often overlap in care: physiological or psychological SEN on the one hand, and trauma-related difficulties on the other. For children in care, trauma can shape learning in powerful ways. These difficulties may include hypervigilance, emotional shutdown, defensive or aggressive reactions, missed early learning, identity struggles, or a lack of early positive guidance. Their behaviour often reflects fear, confusion or an unmet emotional need.

Diagnosis can be helpful, but it is not the only indicator of need. Many looked-after children fall into the gaps between categories. They may not meet a formal threshold for a plan, but they still need understanding, flexibility, routine and emotional support in order to thrive at school. In reality, all foster carers are SEN foster carers, because every child who enters care carries something extra that needs to be understood and supported.

A stable foster home can transform a child’s development. Emotional safety changes how the brain processes threat, how the body regulates stress, and therefore how a child manages daily experiences. Once a child feels secure, learning becomes far more possible.

Progress isn’t always dramatic. More often, it shows itself in small shifts that take significant courage. For example, a young person might manage a full week of school after months of refusal, or accept comfort from a trusted adult for the first time. Progress can also look like joining a club, beginning to interact with peers after a long period of isolation or simply finding the confidence to speak up during a review and express a preference. These changes may seem small from the outside, but they are powerful signs of stability and growth.

Taken together, these moments matter. They show that the child is learning to trust, regulate and explore the world with more confidence. Safety leads to progress. Stability leads to connection. Small achievements are major milestones.

There is a myth that carers for children with additional needs must have professional qualifications or specialist training before they start. In reality, the best foster carers begin with qualities that come from who they are, not what they already know.

The qualities that make the biggest difference in SEN fostering are grounded in who foster carers are, rather than any professional background they may have. Patience is essential, especially on the days when emotions run high and progress feels slow. Resilience helps carers keep going, reflect on what happened and approach the next day with renewed commitment. Empathy, paired with genuine curiosity, allows carers to see the needs beneath a child’s behaviour and understand what might be driving it. Flexibility plays an important role too, because strategies often need to be adapted, adjusted or tried again in a different way. A calm and predictable approach helps children feel secure, even when they themselves cannot be calm in return. But above all, openness to learning and personal growth ensures that carers evolve with the child, developing confidence and insight as they gain experience.

Carers gain expertise through lived experience, strengthened by the support around them, and develop their skills over time.

Foster carers grow into the role, training strengthens them, support surrounds them and their confidence builds with every experience.

Support that wraps around the carer and the child
SEN fostering is not something any carer is expected to navigate alone. A strong support model offers constant, proactive help in both the calm moments and the challenging ones.

Foster carers should expect specialist, ongoing training that is practical and trauma informed, as well as a dedicated supervising social worker who knows both the carer and the child well. Support also includes access to therapists, psychologists and education specialists, 24 hour advice for crisis moments and peer networks to share ideas and celebrate progress together.

Good support does not paint a picture of ease. It acknowledges that fostering is emotionally demanding, sometimes exhausting and occasionally isolating. Support is effective when it is honest about the difficulties and present through them. No foster carer should feel they are coping alone. The right team can make fostering sustainable, rewarding and impactful.

Working positively with schools and professionals
For children with additional needs, consistency between home and school is essential because their behaviour and learning are closely tied to predictability. When carers and professionals share information well, the child experiences a stable environment that supports regulation and confidence.

Good collaboration between everyone involved in a child’s life is essential. Clear communication between foster carers, teachers, SENCOs, therapists and social workers, ensures that everyone understands the child’s needs and how to support them best. Home and school work more effectively, when they agree on shared routines, such as visual timetables, movement breaks or sensory tools, so the child experiences predictability wherever they are.

Support works best when needs are identified early, preventing long periods of struggle and giving the child a better chance to feel settled. Approaches also need to be emotionally informed, recognising that behaviour is often a form of communication rather than defiance. Regular check-in conversations between home and school help both stay aligned and adapt strategies quickly when the child’s needs change. Children in care frequently experience stigma at school and can be targets for bullying or misunderstanding. Predictability and joined-up thinking can help children settle and form a sense of belonging.

Challenging myths and misconceptions
Public perceptions of children in care and children with SEN often miss the truth. To encourage more people to foster and to improve children’s experiences, we must continue to challenge these misconceptions.

There are several common misconceptions about SEN fostering that can discourage potential carers, so it is important to address them honestly. One frequent myth is that children with SEN are always challenging. In reality, their needs vary widely and many of the behaviours that seem difficult at first begin to settle once a child feels safe, understood and well supported. Another is that only certain types of families can foster children with additional needs. The truth is that carers come from all walks of life, and warmth, stability and a willingness to learn matter more than any particular family structure or professional background.

A final and deeply rooted myth is the idea that once a child enters a stable home, their difficulties simply fade away. Care experience can bring confusion and feelings of shame that do not go away overnight. Many children describe feeling different from their peers and navigating the emotional tension between their birth family and their foster family. This inner conflict can affect behaviour, relationships and learning, even when they are surrounded by care and kindness.

There is a need for more education in the community about the impact of discrimination and mockery. Just as society has learned to challenge racism and other forms of prejudice, children in care deserve understanding and opportunities to feel pride in who they are. Honesty about the realities of care helps us challenge stigma and build environments where children can thrive.

Across the country there is a shortage of foster carers able to offer homes to children with or without additional needs. This shortage means long waits, moves far from family or school and delays in receiving the stability that could change a child’s future. 

The challenges are real, but so are the rewards.

Being a foster carer for a child with additional needs means offering a young person perhaps the first stable bedtime routine they have ever known and helping them begin to trust adults again. It means supporting school engagement that once felt out of reach and being a steady presence who walks alongside them when the world feels confusing. Most of all, it involves noticing and celebrating the smallest steps, because those small moments often mark the beginning of the biggest changes in a child’s life.

When a child feels safe and supported, everything becomes possible. Confidence grows. Learning opens up. Relationships deepen. Futures change. But the impact is not solely on the child, it is also felt by the foster carer who has played a part in supporting a child when they needed it most.

If you have empathy, patience and the desire to make a lasting difference, SEN fostering may be one of the most meaningful roles you ever take on.